I make ‘other’ women beautiful for a living.
I make ‘other’ women feel glamorous for a living.
I help ‘other’ women feel good about themselves.
I was also very shy as a child and not at all sure of myself or confident.
I grew up feeling invisible….
I SO MUCH WANTED TO BE SEEN.
Growing up I lived, eat and breathed the Old Hollywood movies.
My walls were covered with all the Hollywood starlets.
I wanted to emulate these actresses.
I loved glamour and wanted so much to be the center of attention.
But truth is I never went to my Prom.
Never had a ‘wedding’...nope, this girl eloped and the bride wore ‘black’!! LOL (don’t ask)
And believe or not in my almost 58 years I’ve never even had a birthday party that wasn’t given by my ‘mommy’ since I was 10.
Long story short…I’ve NEVER had just one day that was special or where I was the center of attention.
So now what??
My husband and best friend of 28 years passed away 4 years now.
And with him my days of getting to dress up and go out and feel somewhat special and glamorous at least just on a Saturday night.
My Michael always made me feel pretty.
And as happens all too often we females never appreciate ourselves and what we have till it’s too late.
I look back at older photos when I was in my 20’s and say to myself.
”Why did I beat myself up so much and see only flaws. Hey, I was kinda cute.”
I had an amazing mane of thick dark hair, eyes that men always called ‘bedroom eyes’, good skin, and a backside that my husband always said was my best ‘asset’
And then I realized it isn’t so much that I’m not the same ‘cute’ girl anymore but that I didn’t enjoy my youth when I had it.
I let my youth slip away. And that is what makes me sad.
I don’t think I fully enjoyed being a woman until I was in my 40’s.
Oh I enjoyed all the looks and attention I got in my 20’s 30’s and even well into my 40’s.
Hey, I was finally getting ‘attention’ and being seen, but I wasn’t truly comfortable in my own skin and have the inner confidence to back it up till in my 40’s.
One of the gifts of age is that it finally becomes easier to ignore other people’s opinions.
We’ve been through enough by now to know our true feelings and what we want and are ready to live the lives we would have lived all along if we had thought it was okay and had the confidence to ‘go for it’.
So I decided I won’t let it consume me and will accept that what is no more is no more.
And what is now is now.
I will use all that I DO have which is my health, my humor, my personality and my wisdom to embrace this time of my life.
Move into the next chapter with as much dignity and grace as I can.
I decided to start with freeing myself from being a slave to coloring my grey hairs and dealing with long, thick coarse hair that was now way to much to handle.
I admit it was scary and strange to see my hair getting shorter and shorter and greyer and greyer.
Truth is that now that my hair is short and grey I wished I had done it sooner.
There is something very freeing and empowering about not being a slave to your hair.
We have so much of our identity wrapped up in it.
Hey, I was the girl in my teens and all thru my 20’s and 30’s with the Farrah Fawcett lions-main and knew all too well how to work the sexy hair flip to fall over my smokey eye.
Now I’m left with chin hairs, puffy eyes, and the beginning of sagging chin…hardly stuff you can get your ‘flirt’ on with.
It's like I'm in a battle between world domination and impending doom.
So what's the best thing you can do for yourself when you are starting to not feel so young and sexy anymore?
When you still want just ONE DAY to be pampered and be the center of attention?
When you want and need to get your confidence back to be able to move forward in life??
DO A “GLAM” SHOOT of course!!!
And my friend Marjorie Mazzei Raggoof GLAM Portraits by MarjorieRaggo
http://www.glamstudiosNJ.com/ was kind enough to let me have a shoot of my own.
I have worked with Marjorie before doing the makeup for her clients and she knew how much I LOVE working on them for other women.........but how very much I wanted one of my own.
So what does this shoot mean to me?
Well for starters I finally got my ‘one’ day.
My chance to shine.
To be pampered.
To feel special.
To see myself in a new light.
This is the best thing I could have done for myself at this stage in my life.
Marjorie, I LOVE MY PHOTOS and I don’t think you will ever truly understand what this photo shoot meant to me and has done for my confidence and self esteem and how grateful I am.
To give the gift of confidence and empowerment to a woman is a special gift.
And if I could encourage just one woman to gift herself the gift of a GLAM shoot…my work here is done.
I only wish my Michael could see my new hair and my fabulous photos.
But I know what he would say.
He would tell me I’m beautiful and I still ‘got it’.
I also know my Michael would say I grieved long enough and it’s time to move on.
I’m going to frame one of the photos to hang...OK ...maybe two or three, lol and put them where I can see them every morning as I open my eyes.
Right next to my morning affirmations and vision board to start my day feeling awesome and hopeful about myself and what new adventures lay ahead for me.
Because you know what?
I’m still ‘Hot’ just in a different way to my youthful lion’s mane, bedroom eyes and firm butt.
And that’s okay. It’s just taking a little bit of getting used to, because the fact is that we live in a society that values a firm butt on a woman more than her wisdom, her kindness and her character, and it’s my mission to do my part to try and change that.
I hope you love looking at my photos as much as I do.
Now please excuse me, I have to go buy the sexiest little black dress and sign up with MATCH.com.
It would be unfair to deprive the boys of all this fabulousness!!