Live More Glamorously

So many exciting things are happening for women.
We are in an era of self-empowerment like never before.
2019 is all about the women!!
Finding ourselves, finding our voice, finding our purpose.

All good, and long overdo.

But we are so busy working on our businesses and finding our inner strength and voice, what about pampering and spoiling ourselves a bit?

I still think that women don’t do enough for themselves.
As I get older I realize the importance of putting myself first and that I matter!!

As women, we tend to care about the needs of others and forget about ourselves. And if we are women that have experienced lose or depression from widowhood, divorce, or being an empty nester…we are even more prone to not do for ourselves, heck sometimes we don’t even want to get out of bed and shower, or eat, much less think about doing it with some style and luxury.

As a widow myself I too went through this.
Who cares? What do I have to get out of bed for? Who cares if I shower?…and a bowl of Fruit Loops for dinner was pushing myself.

I’m a work in progress myself and trying to do, be and have better.
Trying to put myself first and show myself I MATTER!!!

Its hard-many times and I have to talk to my inner self and step out of my comfort zone a lot.  I also realize more now as I get older that so much ‘stuff’ doesn’t matter to me as it once did when I was younger and much more self-centered and vain, which I suppose you’re supposed to be a little when you are younger.

The truth is though, we all have way too much ‘stuff’!!!

If we took a moment to realize it isn’t how much ‘stuff’ we have but more so the quality of what we have that matters most.

Yes, budget matters, and I'm not talking getting into credit card debt.
Been there. Done that! 
Many of us are working girls with rent to pay, and car insurance and monthly bills, we try to stretch our dollars each month. Me included.

And luxury and indulgence are different for everyone.
What it means to me might not mean the same to you.

But it is about what the French woman has known for decades..quality over quantity, buy what you can afford but splurge once awhile, and embrace, cherish, appreciate and value what you have, not just try to have 'more'!!

To me, it is more important to have two very luxurious, plush and expensive 5-star hotel bath towels, than to have five bath towels from Target.
Every time I step out of the shower onto a thick, plush Turkish bath mat and wrap a big, thick luxurious bath sheet around me…it makes me feel like a movie star…and what’s wrong with that?

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Or how about luxurious bed sheets.
You deserve to sleep the way Old Hollywood starlets did…not on 300 thread count darling!!

Jean Harlow

Be thoughtful about the clothes you wear.
Why wear something that you don’t truly love?
You must know what colors look the BEST on you.
Pay attention to what enhances your beauty and what detracts from it and get rid of the rest.

Every 10 years we should reevaluate our look.
Certainly what you wore in your 20s and 30s would not be appropriate in your 40’s and 50’s.
As we age we grow more sophisticated, our clothes should reflect this.
Think of how you want to present yourself to the world and buy ‘quality’ …whatever you can afford…over quantity.
Class and elegance darlings, even in casual wear.
And it's fabulous that you do treat yourself to an expensive handbag or designer shoes, but then wear them and don't only bring them out for 'certain' occasions.

Dress up to honor yourself even if not a special occasion.
Looking presentable always is simply a matter of respect for yourself.

Celebrate your femininity!!
You don’t need to do it for anyone other than yourself.

Perhaps when you dress up you feel as though you are drawing attention to yourself.
You feel self-conscious as though people are judging you for dressing up during the day.
You don’t want to be noticed.
You want to just fly under the radar.
You don’t want to cause a stir.
I have felt ALL OF THE ABOVE.
So typical of how we as women are made to feel, and usually by ‘other’ women.

What’s the point if I’m a widow or a divorcee?
No one around to see, right?
WRONG!!

luxury and glamour lifestlye

Embrace your femininity.
Don’t wear your granny panties and socks with the holes, throw them away. 
Wear a matching bra and panty set.
It doesn’t have to be a skimpy bikini style, but pretty and feminine.
Doesn’t matter if no one else sees them.
YOU WILL KNOW, and that is enough.
YOU ARE ENOUGH reason to wear pretty and nice things.

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Wear your nice lingerie and spritz yourself with your favorite perfume, stop saving them for ‘special’ occasions.

YOU are special enough.

Every morning when I get up I put on some pretty perfume even if I’m never leaving the house.

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Practice the art of living well every day, even when you are alone.
Doing so allows you to develop a taste for fine living.

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Beautiful surroundings make you want to rise to the occasion.
You can find lots of nice inexpensive things in Home Goods, my new obsession, but occasionally splurge on something extravagant, expensive and decadent, that you cant live without and makes you feel sooooo good!!

De-clutter and practice Minimalism.
Clear out and de-clutter your home and keep only the best and prettiest things you have.
Be surrounded only by the best you can afford and keep it clean and organized.

Elevate mealtimes by using your best dishes, glasses, napkins and tablecloths.

An ordinary cup of tea becomes a rich treat when you drink it in a pretty piece of china.

Use cloth instead of paper napkins at your meals.

Light a candle at dinner for instant ambiance.

Surround yourself with yummy smelling quality candles, and leave the cheap synthetic smells behind.

A Snickers bar?? I dont think so, honey I'm eating decadent chocolates. Two pieces of Godiva is better for your morale and mindset.

Drink your water out of a lovely wineglass, maybe splurge an make it 'crystal'!!

And exactly WHY are we saving the champagne for a ‘special’ occasion?

Who the hell is in charge of telling us what is and what isn’t a special occasion??
Are there champagne Gods that are frowning upon us if we drink some just ‘cause its Monday?? Hell no...Cheers darling!!!

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One way to add instant luxury to any room is to bring in some fresh flowers in a beautiful vase
A single fresh flower in a vase by your bed
Can’t afford fresh?  Go to Home Goods…they have very inexpensive faux flowers that look real.

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Invest in a real piece of artwork, sculpture, or painting  that you absolutely love for your home or office.

Invest in yourself!!

Put yourself first!!

Treat yourself to these little luxuries.

You will be amazed at how attractive and special they make you feel.

Oh, and one last thing darlings....wear the Pearls!!! ;)

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Ways To Help Animal Rescue Organizations Without Adopting or Fostoring

Ways To Help Animal Rescue Organizations…Without Adopting or Fostering!!

We love animals and we wish we had the money, the time, and the room in our apts or homes to adopt and rescue ALL the animals out there…anyway that’s my plan, wish, and dream…but right now its not my reality.

But we are so troubled by all the animals in need and we want to do more to help.

Well here are some ideas of ways you can help in ways that don’t entail you rescuing or fostering.

·        Transport a dog or cat

·        Send money to the vet that the rescue uses.

·        Help out at events.

·        Donate a crate.

·        Donate old towels, blankets and sheets

·        Donate food, treat, toys

·        Donate food bowls

·        Donate leashes and colors

·        Donate cleaning products, pails, paper towels, mops

·        Donate flea, tick and heart worm medicines

·        Donate a scanner or digital camera

·        Donate a photocopier

·        Donate a gift certificate to a pet store

·        Donate a gift certificate to a local groomer

·        Donate stamps, envelopes and printer paper

·        Donate a raffle item if your club is holding a fundraiser

·        Have a yard sale and donate the profits to a local shelter

·        Volunteer to clean cages or walk dogs

·        Help organize a fundraiser

·        Be the one to take the dog to its obedience classes

·        Take photos of dogs or cats available for adoption to post on social media

·        Educate and enlighten friends and neighbors about the reasons they should always Adopt. Don’t Shop!!

·        Lend your artistic talents to your club’s newsletter, fundraising ideas, T-shirt designs or website

·        Donate a coupon for a free car wash or gas or cleaning inside a rescues vehicle

·        Every time you buy a new toy for your dog, buy a second one to donate to a dog in need

·        Pay the cost of a dog that has to go to obedience school to make its chances for adoption better

·        Donate your professional services as an accountant, lawyer, website techie, or photographer

·        Make financial arrangements in your will to cover the cost of caring for your animals after you are gone…so rescues won’t have to

·        Make a bequest in your will to your local animal shelter or favorite sanctuary

·        Donate your old vehicle when you are getting a newer one

·        Remember the actual humans that do the hard work of rescue and fostering, most of whom go without needs of their own because all their time and money goes to the animals

·        Pay a house cleaning service to do spring cleaning for someone who fosters all the time.

·        Bring the rescue or foster take out so they don’t have to cook dinner

·        There are lots more ways you can help.... just ASK a shelter or a foster HOW you can be of service, what do they need

 

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And last…we know they can always use monetary donations $$$

Please open your heart, and do what you can, where you can, and when you can.

God Bless

 

MY BEST FRIEND DIED!!

Five years ago today my husband and best friend died.

He went into the hospital for heart surgery and had a massive stroke while in surgery.

He was only 56 years old.

He was also my BEST friend for 28 years.

I’m writing this BLOG post as a tribute to him, and to also help myself move forward from the shocking and devastating experience this has been for me.

But I’m also writing this post to let others know what I now know first hand.

Yes, we have heard it all before; make sure you tell those you love what you want to say before they leave this earth. Make peace, don’t hold grudges, and don’t be embarrassed or afraid to tell the truth about how you feel about another person.
The truth is...it is all true!!

But first let me tell you a bit about Michael Romelli.

I met him on a ‘Friday the 13th’.

I was madly in love with him three days later on Tuesday, January 17th when I looked at him and he smiled and I felt a strong electrical current shoot thru my body.

Seriously, it isn't a cliche..I actually got hit with a lightening bolt and physically moved in my chair.

I felt I had known him forever and was instantly comfortable and felt safe in his presence.

I could tell him anything.

We were best friends immediately and inseparable.  

He was charming, optimistic, funny, and full of energy…and had the most beautiful Italian brown eyes.

He was also flawed, imperfect, and a human being that struggled with life as we all do.

I spent 22 years living with Michael trying to help him grow-up, be stronger, be a better person, and find his way.

I had to eventually leave him, not because I didn’t love him anymore, but because I couldn’t stand the ‘crazy’ any more.

I left the ‘home’; however, I never left my Michael.

We always stayed best friends to each other, never legally separated, and was still married when he past.

I went on to start my own business and move forward with my life, but Michael, still in my life,  went on to have many health problems. 

He had high blood pressure, was a diabetic, and the beginnings of glaucoma.

I saw him through a cocaine problem, a prior heart attack, three mini-strokes, and losing his mother and younger sister who both died of cancer exactly one week apart from each other.

The strokes had taken their toll starting to leave him visually impaired and unable to drive anymore.

The last year and a half of his life he moved in with me and I was taking care of him...once again.

I had a lot of resentment that I was always the responsible one and I was always the problem solver.

In the last couple of months before his death, at times, I took things out on him.

Not all the time, there were many moments of laughter, and love, and watching favorite TV shows together, and I enjoyed caring and being there for him.

But I was stressed with keeping his Dr. appointments, getting him on disability, filling in paperwork for different government programs, making phone calls, filling prescriptions, making his meals, etc, and still going to work and running my business.

I was resentful at times, impatient, and feeling sorry for myself.

I know he felt he was a burden to me.

For this I am ashamed and eternally and sincerely sorry.

It is a side of me that I am not proud of.

And I will live with this for the rest of my life.

On Feb 7, 2012, I took him to the emergency room for pressure in his upper chest.

After a few days of tests we were told he needed triple bypass surgery scheduled for Monday, Feb 13th.

He wasn’t waking up after surgery.

Eight long, agonizing days and numerous cat scans later I was told this 4th stroke was a big one he had while in surgery and he would not wake up from it.

I finally told them to take him off life support, crawled into bed next to him, held his hand, rubbed his forehead, and for the next 14 hours lay next to him listening to his breathing until he took his last breath at 4:16 a.m. February 22nd, 2012. 

I am so grateful that I was able to be by his side when he passed.

I am so grateful that he went before me, and not the other way around, for he would have been lost, alone and unable to deal with it.

I’m grateful that he didn’t suffer too long before passing.

I am grateful that my brother, who is a sculptor, made Michael’s Urn with his two hands…I know Michael appreciates it as well.

But what leaves me sad is that I never got to have that last ‘conversation’ with him.

You know the one.

The one where you tell each other how much you love them.
How much you are sorry for any mean things said, how he was NOT a burden to me and I would have taken care of him FOREVER!! 

I had planned to tell him these things, but when I called him the evening before surgery he told me to call him back, that the nurse was there to ‘prep’ him for surgery.

They were the last words he spoke to me.

I got preoccupied with TV and Facebook and when I called at 11:00 pm I was told the phones were turned off at 10:00 pm.

I had missed my chance.

I spoke to him several times each day he was in the hospital but I waited till the night before surgery to tell him how much I cared, how sorry I was for my impatience, and how I really felt.

I don’t get a second chance.

I have visions of him lying in bed wondering why I never called back.

Feeling that I didn’t care, that I must be on the computer, or doing something ‘more important’.

It bothers me so much.

I know Michael knew I loved him...but he also always complained I was on Facebook too much.

I know he felt neglected. He lost his lively hood..his freedom of driving..he couldn't read small print or get on the computer anymore because of slowly losing his eye sight.

He was restless, bored and envious of my independence.

He often would say he wished he could just go to sleep and not wake up.

I should have been more understanding.

Now I am left only with the hope that he heard me pouring my heart out at his bedside while he was in a coma.

Now I am left only with the hope that the words I poured into a letter left in his cremated ashes will somehow reach him.

Now I am left only with the hope that my apologies and tears that are nearly an everyday occurrence for me will find there way to him.

My Michael at 56.... just 9 months before passing

My Michael at 56.... just 9 months before passing

I was desperate to find a current photo of him.
One of how he looked now.
I have many, many of him taken over the years of him looking young, handsome, fit, and healthy. But the most recent was one taken in one of those funny photo booths 9 months before he would pass.

Older, scruffier, heavier, greyer, puffy eyes, but it is all I have now to remember him.

How I wish I had made a point to have a current professional photo done of us together.

I don’t get a second chance.

So here is what I know for sure.

We are all going to die.

Our loved ones can be here today…and gone tomorrow.

We don’t get second chances.

Say what you want to say TODAY and don’t take for granted that you can say it tomorrow.

Make sure you take current photos/videos of your loved ones.
Believe me you will want a current photo.

Make time for your loved ones.
Facebook, Instagram, work or TV can never take the place of your loved ones.

Be kinder, gentler, more patient, more compassionate and more understanding of your loved ones.

And here is what I want you to know about Michael John Romelli.

He was a big kid at heart.

He was a blue collar, simple guy.

He loved sweets.

He had strong but gentle hands.

He would have given you his last dollar if you needed it.

He was very personable, liked meeting new people and getting to know them.

He enjoyed watching informative and intelligent TV like Discovery/History channel and HATED ‘reality’ TV.

He enjoyed classic rock and country music.

He was good at math.

He loved Halloween.

He loved camping and hiking and street fairs.

He loved to garden and grow his own fruits and vegetables…and was good at it.

He was great at remembering faces, locations and could navigate around anywhere, didn’t need a GPS. He never had to stop and ask for directions.

He loved going for long drives out to the country.

He seriously collected LEGOS… I mean many thousands and thousands of dollars of LEGOS. 

He loved animals, was great with children, and helped the elderly.

He adored Deeva and Lily, and they adored him.

He NEVER held a grudge, and would immediately move forward from an argument.

He was my biggest supporter of my starting my business and was always happy for all my achievements.

He was a nice guy!!

He was a big pain in the ass many times…but he was ‘MY’ big pain in the ass.

I know he loved me… always, though he many times wasn’t clear as to how to show it.

And I hope he watches over me and guides me through the rest of my days till I can be with him again.

Two months after losing him I had a dream.
My dream was of a thunderstorm coming, the sky was very dark…almost black.
It passed and the sun came out.

I awoke the next morning with the very clear message.

‘The sun always comes out after a storm’.

I believed it was my Michael telling me things will get better.

His corneas, some skin and some bones were donated to organ donation, and I have since found out that his corneas have helped a woman in Kearny, NJ and a gentleman in New Hampshire.

Michael’s eyes, his beautiful brown eyes, have helped others to see.

I scattered some of his ashes around the base of a beautiful tree in a local park near me when he passed where I will hoped he became one with this tree and Deeva, Lily, and I go often to sit under the tree and be with him.

I called him ‘Bear’…or ‘Bear Bear’.

He mattered.

I will miss him.

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. 

It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

                                                  ~judy garland

The two of us in happier times

Thank you for listening…now go tell someone you love how much you love them…and take a current photo of them too while you are at it.~

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All rights reserved.  Copying in any way is prohibited.

Find YOUR Purpose!! Share YOUR Gift!!

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there too!

Howard Thurman once said,

 “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.

Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

When you discover what makes you come alive the world will open up and the universe will create opportunities for you to do just that.

Whatever it is, you will feel compelled to speak up about it and do what you can to make a difference. You cannot keep yourself from talking about what you care about most.  

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Sometimes God gives people a passion to speak up for a group of others who can’t speak up for themselves: the persecuted, the poor, the imprisoned, the mistreated, the disadvantaged and those who are denied justice.  

The Universe gives us all different passions so that everything that needs to get done in the world will get done.

You have to figure out how to get your gift out of your heart and into the world where it can be loved and appreciated.

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Sometimes that passion comes from personally experiencing some tragedy or obstacle in your life such as abuse, addiction,  depression, disease, or some other difficulty.

The challenge is that it is hard to understand this while you are going thru the challenges or pain.

Usually the worst things that happen to us in life lead us to the best things that will ever happen to us and lead us to our true missions and passions in life.

Don’t make the mistake of discounting any of your experiences.

They are there for a reason.

It’s your job to figure out what that reason is, learn what you need to from it and the move on and use what you can for your purpose.

Look at every experience as an opportunity to grow and learn more about yourself.

Know that wherever you are on your journey that is exactly where you need to be.

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Wherever you’ve been, and whatever you’ve done so far, both good and bad, your entire life was building up to this moment. Now is the time to rise up into your greatness.

A greatness you never could have reached without going through exactly the things you’ve gone through.

Everything you’ve experienced was for a reason and a purpose.

No matter how low you might have descended, there is no shame and no limit to how high you can now rise.

Don’t waste your failures…learn from them…use them.

Don’t push your dreams aside…pursue them.

Remember...we ALL have a 'story'.

I do as well.

USE YOUR STORY!!

I also think most of us have a dream, a secret aspiration we never admit to anyone else for fear of being laughed at. Yet the dream remains in our head and our heart and never really goes away. You feel it’s your destiny, planted in your brain like a little seed.

I do as well.

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I am very passionate about helping animals in need.

And EMPOWERING women thru helping them look and feel good about themselves.

However, I also secretly have wished to be a motivational speaker. 

To inspire and encourage other women in pursuing their dreams.

To not be ashamed of their story, to learn from it, to share it, and to find their gift through it.

There I said it. I put it out there. I’ve not shared that secret desire with many people.

Until I get the opportunity to actually stand up and do it in person, I will l do it here thru my BLOG posts.

It is said…If you have life you have a purpose.

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What are YOU willing to do?

What are your strengths?

What are your passions?

What are your dreams?

Who can you help?

Who can you teach?

What’s your secret dream?

What do you wish for?

SAY IT!!!

PUT IT OUT THERE!!

Then take a breath

 Have a plan.

GO FOR IT!!

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"God created you as an individual with special gifts, skills, and talents. You were placed on this earth for a reason and a purpose. You are meant to discover who you are and to express yourself in your own unique way. God and the angels want you to be passionate about what you do for work.

They want you to find your life's purpose so you can help and serve others."

~Connect with Angels

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All rights reserved.  Copying in any way is prohibited.

My Trip to Indraloka Animal Sanctuary

Those of you that know me know I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE animals....ALL animals!!

And those of you that dont, well I'm letting you know now. I adore animals...ALL animals!!

So it was very exciting to me to be able to visit an animal sanctuary recently in Pennsylvania.

I had first heard about the Indraloka Animal Sanctuary when I saw a video that was circulating on Facebook about a poor little sweet pig named Jeremiah.

This poor thing was rescued from someones backyard after someone called the authorizes upon seeing it out in the frigid bitter cold.

The emaciated little pig struggled to breathe as blood poured from his snout, and yet his eyes were filled with hope.

Under filth-encrusted sores and protruding bones, he wanted to live...just like you and I.

He was named Jeremiah, “God will lift him up.”

Jeremiah, fighting to live.
Jeremiah, fighting to live.

The humane police officer heroically rescued him from a living nightmare on Thursday night on February 20th, but did not know if he was rescued in time. The vets warned that the damage might be too great.  Jeremiah might not survive.

He got worse before he got better.

Vet visits, medicines, feeding his broken body by hand and even by syringe, and praying for his survival.

Long-term pneumonia left his airways so scarred that blood and mucus spewed from his nose as he battled for air.

Painful ulcers on his feet and legs from being forced to live in his own filth caused his legs to swell unnaturally.

They feared that even if he survived he most probably wouldn't be able to walk again.

And yet, throughout all of it, Jeremiah fought for his life.

Jeremiah
Jeremiah
Jeremiah
Jeremiah

Eddie Traffic, is another young pig who on the morning of December 23, 2013, jumped from a slaughter-house bound truck in the midst of heavy I-80 Parsippany, NJ traffic.

The terrified pig waited on the highway with cars roaring by for four hours before help arrived to take him to a safe home and a new life.

Eddie Traffic
Eddie Traffic

I had the awesome pleasure of meeting these two gorgeous gentle souls, as well as many other of the animals wondering happily and freely on the property. 

Horses, goats, sheep, chickens, cats, and cows, many pigs, and even a peacock.

There is something so beautiful about seeing animals roam freely, under the sun, breathing the fresh-air. 

Animals are no different than us. 

We all want the same things. ...sunshine, fresh air, a kind, gentle hand to give us belly rubs, to be told we are special and beautiful.......and some 'treat's.

Located in Mehoopy, Pa., Indraloka is an all species animal rescue and provides “heaven on earth” to more than 150 animals who have nowhere else to turn. 

They educate the community, especially children, on ways in which we can better care for ourselves, others, and the environment all while helping animals in need.

They are always looking for 'volunteers' and it is a beautiful way to spend the day with your children, so make sure you bring some treats with you. The pigs love bananas and apples, and so do the horses.

They could also use donations and DeeVa Beauty was happy to make a small one.

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It was a 2 1/2 hour trip each way for me from North NJ, but it was worth the drive to meet the animals......and my beloved, forever in my heart...Jeremiah, who has had made a miraculous full recovery and is up and about walking and playing and making new friends.

Jeremiah, you truly have been 'lifted up by love' ♥ .............and I am still swooning from our 'kiss'!!!

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http://www.indraloka.org

All images and content on this site are property of ©DeeVa Beauty, llc

All rights reserved.  Copying in any way is prohibited.